The Final Testament of Ciel Phantomhive
by kawaii hime-sama
Summary: Ciel's Final Testament to his butler. His thoughts and feelings throughout their 3 years of master and demon.


**Title: **The Final Testament of Ciel Phantomhive

**Word Count: ** 1,228

**Author: **kawaii hime-sama

**Date: **29th November 2010

**-DISCLAIMER- **I don't own Kuroshitsuji, Yana Toboso does. If I owned Kuroshitsuji, this wouldn't be a **fan**fiction, now would it?

* * *

Even when you're not there I can still feel your presence. Your very being is carved into my soul. I know I chose to make a contract with you, those 3 years ago, but now, I almost regret it.

I know that one cannot run from their destiny; there is nowhere to hide, not when Death is the seeker. One must stand up and take what they are given, play the cards they are dealt.

But I wish I could replay those blissful moments for eternity, the times when I felt we were flying through the sky, over the very clouds themselves. I always trusted you, you'd never let me fall. You always had the power to win. Win for me.

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You planned everything so meticulously, I can't help but laugh. You and your butler aesthetics. Nothing could be less than perfect for you, or for the name of Phantomhive. You are a faultless creature. No, you have your faults, just like everyone else. Except your faults are part of your perfection. You are the sole embodiment of those deadly vices; superbia, avaritia, invidia, ira, luxuria, gula, acedia.

You feel it necessary to straighten your butler's uniform when it gets mussed up the least. You're a very vain demon, I must say, even though I haven't had the pleasure, or would that be _dis_pleasure of meeting another demon.

You feel the need to have me for yourself, not even wishing to entertain Elizabeth's dream of her and I being married, though, I do thank you for finally fixing that problem out, she did get on my nerves.

Do you remember the time of that ball? I'm sure you do. The one I had to dress-up and act the part of Aunt Angelina's dear niece. When Viscount Druitt had his hands on me, I know for a fact your blood was boiling, there's no need to lie now.

The very first time we met, in that dank ceremonial room, I could feel the hate and anger emanating from you; that not even soft, gentle words could hide.

I see the way you look at me, especially when it comes to 'bath time', and when you are changing my clothes, it's very hard to ignore those glances.

I know you think of yourself as a very stealthy being, Sebastian Michaelis, but allow me to change that. I know about your little excursions during the night when you believe me to be asleep. I know that you go to sate your hunger, to fill the void that I will soon occupy.

You usually follow orders well, but there were times when you felt obligated to do absolutely nothing; to leave me without guard, without friend, without life.

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Though I can look beyond those little 'quirks' of yours, as, strangely enough, you also demonstrate great virtues, humilitatus, caritas, humanitas, patientia, castitas, temperantia, industria. Now, I'm not one for anything religious, but it shows that even as a demon, you aren't all bad.

You behave humbly as my servant, my chess piece. You know where your place is, especially when outsiders are involved, we wouldn't want them to know of our contract, now would we?

You are very giving towards those cats of yours, always finding a spare moment in your hectic schedule to see them, and care for them. I am pushing this one a little, but it still fits, or do you wish to go against your master?

I remember those sleepless nights. I still couldn't believe all that had happened. I couldn't even muster up the strength to complete my studies, or my work as head of the Phantomhive household. You didn't scold me, even though you had every right to. You merely soothed my fears, fought them away. You never got anything in return, except more work, but you continued to heal me.

You waited all those years for my revenge to come to fruition, you never once voiced your want to finish it quickly, you seemed content with the pace things were going.

I know that you have done _certain things_ in order to obtain information, but I will not be discussing those things now. But, you kept your hostility against Elizabeth under control (for the most part), and not one person believed you to be a demon, as you had an air of education and honesty. So, you're mostly an actor on this part, but who am I to judge, I made a contract with a demon, had many children killed for an easy way out, and sought revenge for the most part of 3 years, I am not one to preach.

You've always had to control yourself, never letting your desires take a hold of you. I'm sure this was a difficult task for one so damned. You were sure to choose my outfits right, my tea correctly, not a thing was out of place as the manor. You deferred your payment until the end, but what if my revenge had taken longer? What if I was unable to fulfil my part of the bargain? What then?

I swear, even though you discourage me from partaking in such activities, I swear if I looked up this one in the dictionary, your name would be placed aside it. It's simply in your nature to play the part of the time-conscious butler. You would never allow me to be more than a few seconds behind schedule.

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I remember those final moments, they passed so quickly, I never even got to see your true form; something I had been plotting to see since the first day. You promised me to close my eyes, to not look upon you, as you think yourself to be ugly while not in your human skin.

I know my life has changed irrevocably, since that fateful day. I sometimes look back thinking, _'I shouldn't have done that' _or _'maybe if I'd said that'_, but I know that even if I did or said anything differently, nothing would have altered what was going to happen.

I know that wherever I am, wherever you are, that if I just whisper your name, you'll come to find me, to rescue me, to console me.

You've said, many times, that you "don't lie as humans do", but what does that really mean? That you don't lie, end of story. Or is it more devious than I thought, that you just don't lie badly, like humans do, with their subtle discrepancies, blatantly showing their lies to the world.

That time in the river, when you rowed me to my fate, I could see images. Images of memories past. They held deep emotion, great importance, but not anymore. They were my memories of simpler times. Of when I wasn't the Queen's Guard dog, nor the head of the Phantomhive name, nor the master of a demon.

Behind the mask, the eyepatch, lies many secrets. Those secrets are for none but us to know, and keep. The promise. The oath. The covenant.

No matter what happens, no matter who finds out, the strings of destiny always have their way. Nothing plays against them. But there is one who dares defy the will of destiny; and his name is Death.

I've decided now, Sebastian. Take me as yours. You have fulfilled your side of the contract, now it's time for your reward.

* * *

-khs

I'm going to be honest here, most of the story just wrote itself, then I started to almost kill myself to finish it... (god I hope it's another snow-day tomorrow! I kinda got no work done today because of this compelling urge to write something)

I'm so, so sorry to have been gone for so long! I've missed you all! I can't promise anything (due to studies, etc) but I'll try my best to not leave for as long a time~!

Right, I _**know**_ I'm pushing a lot of the story to make it fit here… I'm sorry!

The song "30 minutes" by t.A.T.u. was a GREAT inspiration for this story.  
I have no idea what the heck was going on when I came up with this idea, or what I was writing (lol), but, I hope you've enjoyed this~~

7 deadly sins - _Superbia, avaritia, invidia, ira, luxuria, gula, acedia = pride, greed, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth (though for Sebastian, it's more of not caring about his position/condition in the world)_

7 holy virtues - _Humilitatus, caritas, humanitas, patientia, castitas, temperantia, industria = humility, charity, kindness, patience, chastity, temperance, diligence._


End file.
